You are not hungry most of the time. You are not always hungry when something smells good, looks good, or tastes good, whether or not you think you are. All food is prepared to tempt your taste buds, even though youre not hungry.

You are also not hungry because there is stress, a deadline, pressure, a personal or business problem, anxiety, tension, its morning afternoon evening when alone with friends weekdays weekends day time night time money problems it rained it didnt came with the dinner it was there . . . You are not hungry 24 hours a day, though you might think you are.

There are many daily food encounters: friends offering food, a maitre d describing dessert, the smell of popcorn in a movie theater, to name but a few. Acknowledging the visual and emotional blitz helps interrupt the knee-jerk reaction that causes you to eat even though youre not hungry. Just knowing you are not hungry most of the time is a helpful piece of information.

You may even have pinpointed the reasons youre thinking of food, reasons that seem to justify your eating when youre not hungry. Ive heard excuses as varied as I got so angry because I couldnt get a cab to I got caught in a downpour without an umbrella. Many of these reasons might seem a valid enough reason to make you eat. They are not.

Certainly anger might tempt you to use food as a drug to keep the feelings down. If you eat when youre angry, does the anger go away? Or perhaps frustration weakens your resolve. At which point is your threshold for discomfort seriously challenged? Bored? At exactly which point does a yawn become a yen? Tired? When does food become a replacement for sleep?

Does the emotional pain diminish when you eat? Is the celebration any better because you come home stuffed, bloated, and full of gas, uncomfortable and with lowered self-esteem? Is it worth it?

Consider, if you will, that your past behavior has not worked. A clear vision of what youre trying to accomplish will. Most of all, you need a mind open to the possibility of change.

One man I almost taught was so afraid to change that he was locked into where he hung his coat, where I sat, and where he sat. He was terrified I was going to pull off his covers and yank away his security blanket of whatever food he was holding onto  whichever food he thought made him comfortable. He was so uncomfortable with even the thought of change, he would not tell me how much he weighed, or what he wanted to weigh.

Of course its possible that some discomfort might occur while youre changing. The very act of weighing less than you did before is a change. And there is no change without change. But there are ways to lessen the discomfort of the journey from where you are to where you want to be; to offer options, suggestions, tactics, tips, tried and true assignments that work more and more as they are practiced. After all, you learned to use food to calm yourself down. You can learn a new method, a new automatic response.

Do you eat out of habit, not hunger? Identifying habits requires guidance, introspection, and patience, but most of all honesty. Once you acknowledge, Yes, I do that, you can decide you dont want to do that anymore and begin to do something else, instead.

It is unrealistic and self-defeating to expect to go from habitual, compulsive, or addictive eating behavior to a calm, rational, in-control eating person by reading an article, even this article. You can, however, alter automatic, learned responses by creating new and effective alternative behaviors that will result in permanent change. The new behavioral choices add up to a permanent weight loss, incrementally, not rattattattat. Its worth repeating: Your original patterns evolved over a lifetime. Now you can consciously plan the person you want to be.

Food does not contain a narcotic. Food only has the power you gave it by doing the same thing with it each time you encountered it. Food has the powe I set it in the first place.

One woman recalled a walk she took one summer day. She spied a man eating an ice cream cone, (a visual stimulus). She used the mental repatterning techniques shed created to distract herself. Shed practiced and repeated the words, Alert. Alert. Cross the street, which she did while laughing. She reassured herself that everything was going to be okay, and she prompted herself to calm her breathing.Two minutes later, Id found the most adorable sequined hat in a store window, she recounted. The moment clearly had passed.

The techniques were there in her memory bank because she had written the specifics of her plan, reviewed it daily to remind herself of the details, envisioned it in her mind, so that when the ice cream cone appeared, her new automatic response to say, Alert. Alert. Cross the street, take a deep breath, and keep walking, kicked in. It is a process everyone can learn. It begins in your mind.

If you do not eat something when you normally would have, you might be particularly motivated to reach your goal weight for an upcoming wedding, class reunion, or birthday celebration. If you use will power, self-control, good intentions, and inner resolve, youll find the results temporary. The next time the same circumstances or food appear, you may be a little less motivated or a little more angry, lonely, tired, or bored, and youll probably eat the food, only to reinforce your old eating behavior, which is what caused you to gain weight in the first place. There is no good intention, self-control, inner resolve or will power sharp enough to cut through the layers and tentacles of your very practiced and polished ritualized eating habits  habits gone haywire. If you ever had good intention, self-control, will power or inner resolve, you would have used it 5, 10, 20, 30, or 50 pounds ago.

If, however, you begin to change your overreaction to food by doing something else, you might end up eating the object of your desire, but, youll most likely not put as much on your plate, youll eat a little less, stop a little sooner, and eat it a little less intensely than if you had not attempted some repatterning techniques.

The first time you do it the new way, it might feel awkward and uncomfortable. It is different from what youve done in the past. But no matter how uncomfortable you feel at the beginning of creating a new habit, nothing is as uncomfortable as having to choose what to wear based on how much of your body it will cover. Nothing is as uncomfortable as selecting what to wear based on what fits on a particular day rather than what is appropriate for a particular occasion.

Maintain a positive, I can do it mental attitude, and positive results happen. Avoid negative words about yourself, such as bad or failure or I blew it. They are just words and do not apply to anyone who continues to try. It aint over until its over, Yogi Berra said. I believe that.

For best results, attempt many kinds of change in your life. If drinking water doesnt help by itself, perhaps the water and deep breathing will be helpful. Sometimes water, deep breathing, changing location and calling a friend is what you need. It is the action of taking an action  any action  that gets the result. It almost doesnt matter which techniques you use to repattern  what is important is that you take a swift, purposeful, and immediate action. The quicker the action, the quicker the moment of anxiety passes.

It is possible that sometimes you might try every technique available and the moment is still difficult. It happens. But that doesnt mean you should stop trying. It just means your results have not quite accumulated enough to effect a noticeable change. It doesnt mean nothing is happening. It just might be too subtle for you to notice. Keep doing it anyway. It accumulates. Continue trying, and from each seemingly failed, imperfect human attempt, the structure of the old, destructive habit will be eroded another little bit . . . you will be that muc however, she reported a two-week period when she did not once eat after dinner. This lifelong pattern had finally been laid to rest. She is 59 years old.

If you buy, prepare, serve, and accept a little less food, you’ll eat less. Ultimately, you’ll be a little less.

If you don’t bring it into the house you won’t eat it. Out of sight, out of mind.

If it doesn’t taste good or look good or satisfy the eye and palate, don’t eat it. We all belong to a nation of people who finish everything on their plate. That is not necessary. You may leave food over. It’s okay. Food is wasted if you put it into a body that doesn’t need it. Better to throw it away. If you order less the next time, there will be less to waste.

When you go off your program because you’re human, you didn’t blow it, weren’t bad, or a failure. Don’t beat yourself up. Simply get back on your program at the very next meal. Try to figure out what you could do next time the same thing inevitably happens. The quicker you’re back on your program, the more you’ll want to stay on your program. It is becoming comfortable, enjoyable, and preferred behavior.

Think of things you can do if you’re thinking about eating but know you’re not hungry.

About the Author

Caryl Ehrlich, the author, also teaches The Caryl Ehrlich Program, a one-on-one behavioral approach to weight loss in New York City. Visit her at http://www.ConquerFood.com to know more about weight loss and keep it off without diet, deprivation, props, or pills. Caryl welcomes questions or comments about this article and the behavioral methods she incorporates into her weight loss program. Contact her at Caryl@ConquerFood.com